Posts tagged ‘Love’

Sometimes I feel like there is something “off” inside. It could be my mind, heart, or even my whole body. Whatever the case, a dose of comfort beckons me. Recently I found myself lunching at Hokkaido Buffet in the hope that their prepared foods would soothe my soul.

As I tasted my selections, I reflected on the various Asian restaurants that would have driven me to Hokkaido. The first thought was the obvious in my last visit there. When Rich came into town for New Year’s, we had popped into the restaurant after seeing the “Sherlock Holmes” movie. It was a quickly eaten meal; it barely made a small dent in satisfying our craving for Asian cuisine. The next thought was when I visited a former friend in Ohio this past summer. Throughout the meal he controlled what we ate and drank. Everything was his decision; I barely had a say even on how much to eat! Both the memories of Thai Star with Judy and Rihm Nam’s with Steve are hoppy ones filled with fabulous conversation and listening.

While pouring over these thoughts, I realized that ironically I could not recall the names of the two restaurants that triggered my stop. Memories of eating at both places give me warm feelings of fondness for my friend Rasha. We would often meet at one of those two places when we worked at The Corporation. I miss her Arabic accent-laden frankness and witty insight. Recently I found the silver and tiger eye choker necklace that she gifted to me for Christmas 2007. It might have been years since I saw her, but I know that when I wear it, I have her in my heart. Rasha, this memory is for you! =:8

It has been some time since I wrote from the heart. My thoughts and feelings have been hidden for a reason, but now is the time to share some of them with everybunny. Many big changes have been occurring, and finally a decision has been made.

Though it has been almost two months, I deeply feel that Podcamp Boston helped this decision. That weekend taught me how to communicate my views more succinctly to those who were not in the same business. It taught me that consumers prefer to buy from a person of trust, rather than one with cheaply discounted goods. The various sessions and presentations which brought out different personalities had one goal: to share information freely and without judgment of other folks’ opinions. I realized that most of what I learned at Podcamp I had already done in the knitting world, and I wanted to transition that knowledge into the world of ITIL.

During the whole process of being let go in January, I promised myself that if I did not find a job by my 40th birthday in November, I would move to Blacksburg and go back to school. After a good kick in the pants from a former friend’s harsh words, my sense of being was awakened by embarrassment. His words brought out a realization: There may also be a hidden reason why I have not been able to find work in New England and the Midwest. My inner vibrations were not allowing me to sway from the true desire in my heart.

After a heart-to-heart talk with my friend Jan Anderson on September 24th, I realized that as passionate I was about knitting (particularly of knitted fabric as a structural material), those emotions began when I worked at The Corporation with their products of 3-phase electrical power. It was only when I was denied the ability to release that passion into my job that I directed those feelings into my hobby.

As a result of listening my inner vibrations, I shall be back in Virginia Tech for school. On the morning of November 1st, I am coming home to Blacksburg with 2 of the bunnies, Caesar and Julius. I shall be doing what I can to find work and also to establish residency in my home state.

Ten years ago, I would have never found the moxie to pick up and move. I was always terrified of being abandoned and alone. The past few years have proven differently. Because of the friends and ties that I made from knitting (maybe I should have used “joins” or “knots” instead of ties?) and the internet, I will never be alone again. Not only am I grateful for everybunny I have met, but I always will appreciate each message, each RAK, and each hug I receive.

I take this time now to thank everybunny for all of the support given to me. Even if I may be late on my posts, I will be here to share my crazy life’s adventures. Here is the quote that I have been following since my awakening in January 2009: “Live one day at a time and make it a masterpiece.” Why? Because in my humble opinion, nothing beats having passion for our short lives. =:8